The next hours seemed so hard. There was just too much to do. It was all too much.
Your father and grandmother went out to get a breastpump so I could feed you. Your father became obsessed with getting a thermometer so he got one with the breastpump.
When I read the breast pump instructions, it said I needed to boil things. It sounded so hard. From soon after we came home, you were trying to eat through my shirt, so I knew you would eat. Its just that you get so sleepy, especially at night. I was scared you wouldn’t eat enough. I barely remember how we got through feeding you that first night. I think your father gave you some formula. You were eating well.
I took the bumper off your crib so I could see you. I had assumed you would not be able to move around the crib. I was wrong. I found you near the edge of the crib and realized and your legs could fit through the bars. I could not stop thinking about it. I started getting very worried.
We knew we had to bathe you. I read the directions a lot. Finally around midnight or 1AM, your father and I gave you a sponge bath. After seeing how listless you had been in the hospital, it was a relief for you to be crying and tossing about during the sponge bath.
Once that was done, there was still a lot more night left, but it was a little easier.
Around 4AM, your father and I both got about an hour’s sleep. I was so scared you would fall through the bars of the crib, but I was so tired and when I tried to put the bumper back on, I couldn’t.
When we woke up, YOU WERE ALIVE! We were overjoyed and relieved! Hell night was over and it was time for real life to begin.
